Francis Archibald Keyes Esquire

Francis comes from a long line of cyber security busters, dedicated to saving the good people of the world wide web from cyber outlaws, APT bandits, virtual pirates, malware hoodlums, and the sort.

Meet the Keys

For over a hundred years, the Keyes dynasty has been perfecting four patent-pending cybersecurity solutions to ease all of mankind’s woes. The Keyes family prides itself on taking a hands-off, yes-nonsense approach to research and development. As Francis always says, “Ya’ don’t learn safety on accident!”

Our Products

Are you suffering from malware? Is phishing giving you a headache? Do bots make you break out in hives? Never fear! F.A.K.E. Security is here! Our suite of tried-and-tested solutions (patent pending) is GUARANTEED to solve all your cybersecurity woes! DISCLAIMER: Results are not guaranteed.

Contact Us

The Keyes Estate second right after the town well. Look for ol’ Mee-Ma Keyes on her front porch sippin' her sweet & spiked tea


+1 (413) 367-7226





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